Sry I called you an 8
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
