Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
