I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
