Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
