I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
