My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
