goodnight i made you a song goodbye
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
