Screwed.edu
love makes seman taste better
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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