Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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