I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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