ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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