I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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