Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
