idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
