I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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