he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
