so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
