wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
