love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
