I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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