oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
