yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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