i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
