Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
