omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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