are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
All the doctor said was why
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
