Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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