guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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