If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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