I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
