they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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