Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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