first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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