I need help removing her.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
