She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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