rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
