SEEEEXXX PLEASE
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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