He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
