can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
