He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
