i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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