Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
