It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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