if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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