Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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