In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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