In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
