I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
