Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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