Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
