I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
